I can't tell you how often I hear that comment. Ummm, yeah. People just can't get their mind around the fact that I live with head pain 24/7. I think most people think I am exaggerating. It is so frustrating.
Occipital Neuralgia is NOT JUST A HEADACHE! It is a neurological condition that resides in the head. So often I am just so tired of trying to explain my condition due to the blank stares and sad faces people give me when I tell them about my head stuff. So I try to avoid it as much as possible. Put on my happy face and push through it. The only problem is I know my face is a tell-tale book. almost 100% of my pain is behind my eye. When I get the lightening flashes instantly my hand goes up to my eye to press and give some relief. People see my hand pressing into my eye and ask if I am ok. It is a reflex and I would stop it if I could. But instead I have to try and explain. I am so tired of it. I wish I had a better quick answer for them. blah.
The thing is is that I AM a happy person. I love life and love all that God has given me. I feel so very blessed. I am just a happy person living with chronic pain. Often times I feel as though I am living a double life. One side is the Shiny Happy People Holding Hands life. And the other is the pill popping, eye gouging, head grabbing life. Still trying to figure out how to make the two work in harmony together....
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16 comments:
I completely understand! I feel like I'm a complainer if I even mention my pain since I have some kind of pain every day. So like you, I just keep my mouth closed and push through it!
It's weird, isn't it Adrianne? I look back on "before" and I used to be so normal. Now this is "me" and I need to accept it. But it makes it so hard to fully accept when those around me make me so uncomfortable with who I am. Or maybe it is me so uncomfortable with who I am I am thinking everyone is against me and my head condition. lol.
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