Ha! I couldn't have said it better myself....

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I seriously think I need to get this shirt.  Like now.  My memory loss is worse and worse and I think the most annoying is how I "loose words" mid sentence.  But I guess it is still a better trade off then CDH at a 7+ 24/7, huh?

Last night the strangest thing happened to me.  I got my nightly "come-down" from the day plus I need to take my next pill headache.  But along with it I got this pain that radiated from the very top of my neck that went all the way down to the bottom of my shoulder blades.  I honest-to-goodness felt like someone beat me up there.  I felt sore and bruised, not only on the inside but outside too.  And as stupid as I felt asking him, I had to have my husband look at my back to see if it was actually bruised up, even though I knew it couldn't be.  Also my nerves all over my body were hyper sensitive.  The lightest touch on my face felt like sunburn.  But I also felt it in my arms too.  So, so strange. Very much like trigeminal neuralgia, but not.  I laid down with a heating pad and took an Imetrex, my nightly meds and then some and just crashed out.  But surprisingly by morning I was fine.  What is happening to me?!!

Good news is that I start Physical Therapy on Thursday.  I am going to a new therapy center that is rated super high, everyone raves about it.  I was there for my MRI and was blown away just by walking in the door.  So that's cool.  I love having twice weekly massages.  Hopefully it will help with this neck pain I have been having.  Next up will be another CT of my sinuses.  Dr. D thinks they are beginning to fill up again.  My pain is around my eyes again and across my forehead and cheeks which is where they were really heavy when I had my sinus issues last time.  It was weird but both she and my pharmacist said I look pouffy and had dark blue circles under my eyes, both indicators of sinus trouble. We shall see I guess!

Living with "The Guilt"

So, I always get this deep guilt whenever my husband pulls out the bills every month and more and more medical bills are in his pile. He tells me not to stress about it and to not feel guilty. But I can't help it! I feel like we never get a break from it!! It is so frustrating- we can never seem to get on top. I just hate all this guilt. Ughhhhhh.

I am a stay at home mom, so I can't even contribute financially to help pay the bills. Then I start thinking that I feel bad Scott even has to deal with this all together. He didn't sign up for a wife that was going to the doctor every 4 weeks like clockwork. I said that to him tonight and he said that if i had to go every day he would be there. I know he loves me and understands. But I still hate how much this is strapping us. If we could direct all of that money that goes to those medical bills to other things....

Migraining.

I got my 1st migraine last night since I upped my dosages. I've had some bad ON attacks, but not an actual migraine in months. It was also my very first migraine that has ever woken me up in the middle of the night. Luckily I was able to stop it pretty well with an Imitrex and go back to sleep. I was sure that Scott wouldn't be able to go to work today becuase i would need him to care for the children. But this morning I woke up in the post-migraine fog, but luckily the migraine itself was gone. I go see my doctor tomorrow where I am sure she will change my daily preventatives. Wish me luck we get it right this time!

Unless you are a doctor, keep your "helpful" comment to yourself.

I get so tired of hearing these things.  And this is just a small handful.  This picture could be floor to ceiling if they were all represented....

Laundry, my Other nemesis!

Still not right.

Such a bummer.  I think I will be changing my meds when I go see Dr. D next week.  My carbamazepine was working really well for quite a while.  And in some ways it still is.  I no longer have my 24/7 headache.  Truly amazing to not live with that anymore! But now my electric shocks are coming to me all day long.  Sometimes they each last a few seconds but more and more often they last me way longer, or are back to back to back.  We went up to the very highest possible dosage at my last appointment, so we are not able to increase it any further.  Something is not quite right with me and this medication and I think we need to look at something else.  We are on the right track, but still not quite all right.

I am nervous.  I know that there are hundreds of meds out there to try, but I am finally used to these side effects.  I know how my body reacts to them and I am dealing with it.  My family is getting used to my forgetful brain and my new occasional stutter.  Now I will have to start all over.  it is a daunting feeling.