bye bye anxiety

Isn't that the truth!

I have had so much anxiety, it has been eating me up alive.  I am naturally a homebody, but this was getting ridiculous.  If I had more then one thing on my plate I would freak out.  I seriously had no idea how on earth i was going to get it done along with taking care of the house and the children.  When the kids would misbehave it was like it was the end of the world.  I just couldn't keep things in perspective.  I know it is a combination of the side effects of my new medications and just the plain old stress of my ON and TN.  But no matter how much i tried to keep it all together, I couldn't.

I finally brought it up to my Dr. after having a major melt down to Scott about it all and she put me on an anti-anxiety drug called Celexa.  I have been on it since the middle of June and can I just tell you this- I feel like a NEW WOMAN!  I don't feel spacey or strange.  I don't feel emotionless or any of those feelings I was afraid I would feel being on an anti-anxiety pill.  I actually don't feel like I am on anything at all as a matter of fact.  I just feel like AMIE is back.  I don't get stressed out anymore.  I rarely get so overwhelmed with the kids that i need to yell.  I just feel so much happier and at ease.  Thank you again Dr. D!  Hopefully i won't need to be on it forever, but at least right now while I am coming to terms with my conditions, this is a good place to be.

Follow up with Dr. D and an Official Diagnosis

December 28- I had one of the best visits with my doctor today. Lots of talking and testing. She is amazing! After not being taken seriously for so long, I can't stress how much I appreciate her! Looks like I do indeed have a form of Occipital or Trigeminal Neuralgia or both!). I asked her about what the Optical Neurologist said, about the nerve block not working if I didn't have Occipital Neuralgia. My pain has been increasingly worse since the injection, not better. So what does this mean?! She that that basically I have an angry nerve (Grrrrrrr!).  It didn't "agree" with the type of injection and is now mad and lashing out at me, causing more increased pain. This is I guess another way of knowing that the shot did something proving I do have the disorder. If I didn't have it then the shot would have done absolutely nothing at all.

So I am trying out a new medication starting tomorrow to start relieving my nerve pain and will be slowly weening off my beta-blockers.  She wants to see if my migraines come back off of them or if my pain is primarily nerve related. Nervous but hopeful!  We have a plan of attack! (Hi-Ya!)

I think I am mostly nervous about going off the labetalol. I didn't need it while I was pregnant this last time; guess my hormones fixed my issues. But once I gave birth I had the most crushing migraines that I just couldn't shake. I can *almost say my migraine pain was worse then my c-section pain. The house doctor put me back on the labetalol, I had one more migraine and then I was back to my normal 2/3 daily pain level. Dr. D says that I will be seeing her regularly, so I won't be left in the cold in serious pain if i need it still, or something else better.

Anyone familiar with Carbamazepine? That is the new med she is putting me on. It's an anticonvulsant. Actually now that I think about it, I think it is the same stuff my crazy college roommate took for her epilepsy. FYI, It wasn't her epilepsy that made her crazy, I think she was just crazy naturally... accused me of stealing her stuff, would flip out on me for no reason, oh goodness a whole mess of stuff. But enough about her, yuck. So anyways...

Dr. D wouldn't prescribe me any pain pills right now. She said that if this is indeed all nerve related and that I did have this neurological disorder, then this medication would work as a pain pill, so to say, on the over-reacting nerves in my head. I hope she is right, because my pain level (even on my beta-blockers) has gotten up there again. My daily pain is now closer to a 5/10 and taking 4 Advil many times doesn't even cut it.

Along with my 300 mg of Labetalol, I will start out on 100 mg of Carbamazepine once a day for one week and then jump up to 200 mg twice a day after that. I am then scheduled to see her again in two weeks to discuss my pain levels, how the new stuff is treating me and then to work out a schedule for going off the Labetalol. She says that the Carbamazepine is a low does, so not to be surprised if I need to increase the dosage until we get things just right. She really wants me to be a "one pill girl" and not need to take all sorts of things to feel "normal". Oh goodness I hope she can do it!  We shall see.